Accept it as a gift from Allah...

Allah know the best....

             This week passed by so fast. i ve lost my time a lot. The time i wanted to use for my studies. The time i am so keen to learn. Time is so precious to me. if others has 24 hours in a day. i MUST minus is from involuntary shut down of me that steal my time away. 

            I was so angry to myself. I was so depressed when realised i cant finished up my study according to my schedule. I was so ill after the attack which give me headache and state of confusion. i am so MAD, so Depressed, so SAD...

      until then , i hv no mood, no spirit to study. my spirit had already being buried with the abnormal wave which passed by my head. it really killing me...

            Then...suddenly my hand wrote down something inside the google space for search entry. I ve click a page with enlighten me....

            the writer said, " now, since i ve accept it as part of me and part of mylife, i dunt feel like burden to myself. i know the warning and the signal my brain give. It just that i  ve to allow it to happen. then, smile and enjoy life till the signal comes again. Now i accept it as a gift from God. so far i ve enjoy my time till the fullest. i ve no more emotion stress and no depress". 

             yeah...if we go against the wave of the ocean, we need lots of energy to walk through  it. But if we go with the flow, we ll use less energy and  make us less stressful. ...so accept it as a gift from Allah swt. 

p/s: everytime u faced difficulties, it makes u more stronger for the future.....

satu anugerah...

                 Setiap insan telah ditaqdirkan apakan ujian yang bakal ditempuhinya. Ade sesetengah yang mengambil sebagai rencah kehidupan dan ada pula yg memikirkannya sebagai bala. Terpulanglah..tetapi hidup ini tidak akan segalanya aman sejahtera....pasti ader pahit, masam, manis dan pahit. Barulah hidup itu sempurna dan bermakna.

                Setiap kepayahan yang Allah tentukan ada hikmahnya...ada juga Allah janjikan jalan keluar bagi orang yg sabar. Jangan kita canang iman kita itu kuat selagi tidak diuji oleh tuhan yg maha esa. Apabila berlaku sesuatu, baru kita tahu sapakan kawan terbaik kita yang susah sama susah yang senang sama senang.  papapun yang belaku pasti ader hikmah...kitalah yg harus memikir kenapa dan apakah hikmah yang berlaku disebaliknnya...

                Hari jumaat ini adalah hari intervew suruhanjaya perkidmatan awam. Kerjaya yang saya inginkan sejak kecil. Memang sejak kecil lagi ayahanda telah menanamkan semangat dan cita2x utk menjadi seornag Pakar Bedah sakit Puan...jika orng tanya dari kecil sejak saye masuk darjah satu, nak jadi aper pastu saye akan sebut Pakar Bedah sakit Puan.......

               Itulah impian serta harapan saye. Tetapi di persimpangan ini, bukan senang untuk saye melangkah hari demi hari. Setiap orang pasti ader kesukaran yg tersendiri. Tidak semua orang Allah akan beri mudah sahaja....

              3 bulan lalu Allah telah mengabulkan doa saye. Saye mmg ingin mengetahui apakah yang berlaku dalam diri saye. ya, segalanya sudah terjawab setelah beberapa ujian yang dijalankan....

              Yang penting bagi saye, hanya saye seorang yang patut memahami diri saya. Ade hikmahnya kenapa Allah memberi anugerah itu kepada saye...pertama, untuk saye lebih memahami aper yang berlaku, menyelidik dan membuat kajian ttg itu. kedua, Allah ingin mempermudahkan dan menolongku (husnuzhan pada Allah) . Jika difikirkan, mampukan ak memikul tanggungjawab sebagai Pegawai Perubatan dengan kondisi sebegini?? apapun Jawapan yang hanya ku dapat adalah Kesabaran, ketekunan, wasatiah dan tidak berhenti berdoa pada Allah. Allah swt adalah pencipta kita, Dialah juga tempat kita mengadu.....apapun 5 bulan lagi sebelum final on jun....jika hampir 5 tahun telah ku lalui, sedikit saje lagi...kawan2x mari kita kuatkan diri kita dan bersama2x mengharunginya....

p/s >> this entry i dedicate to my beloved friends in dublin and australia who are very care and concern about me..thank you....

p/s from her to me>> think positive, develop healthy thinking....

"Jika berlaku sesuatu kesusahan dan kepayahan, ambillah wuduk dan solat dua rakaat, mengadu dan minta petunjuk dari Allah swt...kerana apapun yang berlaku adalah dari Allah swt."

i am not alone..

bit bit...text from her...

Dr she: how r u? hav a look at tv2..there is wide awake movie on N.....

me: tq . i am fine for the time being. i am watching it rite now...

i was so anxious to see other part of world who knows me better...

give credit to the director coz he really studied how she is...coz i know bttr then HIM.of course!!

today i know that i am not alone. thanks for u care doc. without u i am still didn't know who i am.

p/s: one day i ll travel around the world to see other part of me.

grow though life not go through life....

salam...

this is sentence posted by my friend in YM. i loved to read people shout out in YM. Some of them always reflex on me.

Grow though life not go through life. This sentence is so meaningful and contains lots of message for us to ponder. Grow though life. As  your age getting bigger and  bigger in numbers, we can't act like a kids when facing any hard life. We cant keep nagging and crying to our parents, tearchers and etc. Face it. Let us try to understand the nature of the problem that we faced. Problems come to make u more mature mentally. That is the difference between a successful young man and older man. Who u think is more wiser in handling their problem???

grow meaning we need to prepare ourselves as much as we can so that we can use thing that we ad to help us to solve thing. dont just let urself be blown by wind to east and west. when fully prepared mentally and physically, we will be more confident and brave to hold anything, isyaAllah.

last 2 weeks, was so buzzy, hectic and miserible.  I couldnt forget what was happened to me and to my group.

there was one day that i ve been scolded badly by my prof. i was so down and stressful. i know that i did mistake but.... on that nite i got tension headache. But one thing that i realised y it is happened, it is just to prepared me for the battle in the next 5 months.....

in taiping i hav one  favourite specialist, DR levelynn (sorry i cant spell ur name correctly)...i really adore and respect him. there was one time i about to cry listening to his advice.  He said, 

" no one can talk or label u anything. it may be now u r a  ittle bit slower than the others  but it doesnt means that he will not success. this HO, yeah he has some problem now and may be need to extend but who know he will be a cardialogist in  the future. Just put ur heart to it. If u cant do it, find somebody to help. with determination and hard work you will get what you want."

thank you doctor for taking us everyday. WE WILL and WE MUST. one day, i ll go back to u and show u my certificate. you r the only doctor that said to me that even there is only small hope, u still can work out on it.

i think it is enuf  for this entry. Waiting for isya prayers. I misses my home so much but i need to study for my repeat exam.

So DR Nafis, you must not giving up!! Even your REM sleep always distrubing you. Go on!!!Fight for your place Nafis!!!

P/s to my sisters:

a) put ur heart and determination on your study.

b) Never giving up !!!

c) please make sure that u always enhance ur english proficiency level.